ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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