Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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