it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
