yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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