tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
