Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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