Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
