I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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