sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
