I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
