Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
