I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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