I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
