so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
