girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
