Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
