Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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