can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
