god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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