its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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