When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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