you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
