His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
