Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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