do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
