It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
