I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
