thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
