Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
