I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
