I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
