You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
