Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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