Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
