I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
