She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
