i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
