I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
