is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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