Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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