so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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