You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
