so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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