I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
