yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
