Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
