What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
