I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Randomize
