she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
