..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
